Asparagus Poaching!

For my friends not in Idaho this will be an interesting issue we deal with here in the Wild West and for my friends here in Idaho you will all have your own stories I'm sure!
We have the great benefit of having Asparagus growing along the side of the road and in other "hidden" places.
Asparagus is a funny vegetable, somewhat related to the thistle and goofy looking. Not everyone likes it and even in my own family we have a split decision on its likability. I however like it and enjoy the Spring harvest of this little green delight.
However, there are some who make it their life's ambition to hunt the tasty find. Out by our house, which is kind of in the country there will be people all throughout the day sifting over the sides of the roads and the ditch banks looking for some. We call them poachers. They have no problemo just coming into the yard to harvest "your" asparagus.
I like it, it's good and all but I reach my limit at about two or three dinners with a side of the green weed. What bothers me is the Walmart bag (See, in our town that is the preferred carrying device) stuffed with asparagus. Sometimes even two. Usually the wife is out stumbling around the tall weeds as her husband follows ahead of her pointing out all of the hidden finds.
Seriously, what is the need for all of this asparagus? I love Cadbury Creme Eggs that come out at Easter but after two or three I've had my fill and can wait until the next Easter. Besides, if you have eaten asparagus you know that due to the asparagusic acid your urine smells so hideous I'm not sure how you could eat a Wal-Mart bag full of asparagus and stand yourself! It is quite the paradigm and I spend way to much time pondering over it.
Well anyhow, I hope you don't poach at our house because we do have a few fine patches growing nicely in the Spring sun. I'm not going to run you off or anything like that, I'll just smile, wave and as you pull away I will laugh to myself thinking about you picking that asaparagus that my dog Ceasar just peed on! ;)